


be gay or DIE

by ratclub



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Chatting & Messaging, Coming Out, Established winpanfan, F/F, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Trans Character, Trans Female Character, Trans Male Character, cishets dont interact!, gay ling, idk where im going w this, im adding tags as i go, lesbian paninya, nb gay alphonse, nb lesbian lan fan, theyre all gay, trans bi edward, trans bi winry, trans mlm author, wlw/mlm solidarity
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-29
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-05-15 04:39:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14783744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratclub/pseuds/ratclub
Summary: what if you: also why are you calling al a furry i literally have a picture of you in a fursuitworld goth day: literally diedemons pls interact: YOU HAVE A WHAT NOW





	1. ED JUMPS OUT OF WINDOW?? OMG MUST WATCH NOT CLICKBAIT

**Author's Note:**

> its literally 2am and i dont know where im going with this but i suddenly felt the urge to write a chatfic rip... english isnt my first language so pls lmk if i made any mistakes! kudos and comments r very much appreciated,,this is my first fic in like 2 years ajdkdj
> 
> SCREEN NAMES:  
> edward - world goth day  
> alphonse - furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18  
> winry - what if you  
> lan fan - wanted to go to heaven  
> paninya - but god said DESPACITO  
> ling - demons pls interact

**[groupchat] NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED!**

 

 **world goth day:** so like

 **world goth day:** what would u guys get me if i

 **world goth day:** write “ ‘furry rights!’ - R. Mustang 2k18 ” on the bastards whiteboard before class

 

 **furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18:** you can't do that that's my phrase

 

 **world goth day:** SHUT UP U FURRY

 

 **what if you:** ill get you a bottle of milk hows that

 **what if you:** also why are you calling al a furry i literally have a picture of you in a fursuit

 

 **world goth day:** literally die

 

 **demons pls interact:** YOU HAVE A WHAT NOW

 

**what if you:** [furry_edward.jpg](https://leoplka.tumblr.com/post/174130190724/leoplka-leoplka-furry-edward-canon)

**what if you:** its ok you can thank me later

 

 **demons pls interact:** HHHHH??? MSHSM ;;AKSHS

 

 **but god said DESPACITO:** edward ill pay for your lunch for an entire week if you do that oh my god

 

 **world goth day:** now thats what i like to hear! :)

 

 **wanted to go to heaven:** youre not actually gonna do it right

 **wanted to go to heaven:** edward please

 

 **world goth day:** lan fan. im actually doing it as we speak

 

 **demons pls interact:** AJDHDG

 

 **what if you:** EDWARD DIE

 

 **but god said DESPACITO:** ED. MY SON. IM SO PROUD OF YOU

 

 **world goth day:** :)

 

 **furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18:** not to ruin the fun but i just saw mustang returning to his classroom so you might want to

 **furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18:** You Know

 **furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18:** HIDE

 

 **world goth day:** GOODBYE CRUEL WORLD

 

 **but god said DESPACITO:** ABORT ABORT ABORT

 

 **what if you:** guys its been like 10 minutes where did he go

 

 **demons pls interact:** im crying holy shit i cant believe edwards fucking dead

 

 **world goth day:** I LIVED BITCH

 

 **demons pls interact:** AKDHDG ED 

**demons pls interact:** how did you get out without getting into trouble

 **demons pls interact:** SPILL

 

 **world goth day:** OKAY OKAY SHUT UP

 

 **wanted to go to heaven:** nobody said anything

 

 **world goth day:** literally gargle my dick and balls

 

 **wanted to go to heaven:** EDWARD SHUT THE HELL UP CHALLENGE

 

 **world goth day:** OKAY SO AS I WAS SAYING BEFORE I GOT RUDELY INTERRUPTED BY A CERTAIN PERSON WHOS NAME IM NOT GONNA MENTION

 **world goth day:** so i just completed my life goal (writing on mustangs whiteboard)

 **world goth day:** when i saw the bastard standing in front of the door

 **world goth day:** so i panic and

 **world goth day:** you know how mustangs classroom is only on the first floor

 

 **what if you:** edward PLEASE

 

 **demons pls interact** : so youre telling me that you wrote furry rights on a teachers whiteboard and then jumped out of the window?

 **demons pls interact:** we stan an ICON

 

 **wanted to go to heaven:** PLS SAY SIKE

 


	2. was miley cyrus born 4 years ago? win a free ipad 2 for answering!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SCREEN NAMES  
> edward - world goth day  
> alphonse - furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18  
> winry - winwy  
> lan fan - im not doing the furry thing  
> paninya - pani- yk like, nya?  
> ling - dr. homosexual supremacy
> 
> image links r clickable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the title has nothing to do w the fic i just thought it was funny fjfjfjfnf

[groupchat] NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED!  
   
world goth day: tfw u greet the bus driver but he doesnt greet back

[unknown_image.png](https://78.media.tumblr.com/345592cc315ebc8f0dc967c81ca891a6/tumblr_pdfc4sXu0m1vkoxzt_1280.jpg)

dr. homosexual supremacy: HMFDH RIP IN PISS  
dr. homosexual supremacy: BUT HEY IF UR ALREADY AT SCHOOL  
dr. homosexual supremacy: IM GONNA BE LATE AND I WONT HAVE TIME TO DO IT SO  
dr. homosexual supremacy: BUY ME A CHOCOLATE BAR PLS IM DYING

world goth day: UR THE ONLY PERSON I /KNOW/ IN THIS PERIOD  
world goth day: U CANT LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE HETS

dr. homosexual supremacy: WHAT DO U WANT ME TO DO. TYPE AN APOLOGY IN CRYTYPE GENERATOR?

world goth day: NO  
world goth day: OK WHATEVER  
world goth day: WHICH ONE DO U WANT THEY HAVE LIKE 10 DIFFERENT KINDS

dr. homosexual supremacy: KITKAT PLS

world goth day: OK MEET ME IN FRONT OFF OUR CLASSROOM

dr. homosexual supremacy: THANK U EDWARD I LOVE U

[ private message between @winry and @edward ]

winry: i know youre like dying rn bc ling told u he loves you but pls stop being a dumbass twink bottom and ask him out ALREADY

edward: WINRY STIOFPFJJD  
edward: YOU KNOW I CANT DO THAT

winry: JESUS WHY NOT

edward: WHAT IF HE REJECTS ME

winry: ....  
winry: i know you have dumb bottom disorder but  
winry: do you rlly think he doesnt like you back  
winry: YOURE SO OBLIVIOUS 

edward: UP THE FUCK UR SHUT

winry: HFMDHSH  
winry: JUST ASK HIM OUT FFS

edward: NO DIE

[groupchat] GORLFRIEN>DS;;  
winwy: edward has a serious case of dumb twink disorder T-T

pani- yk like, nya?: GOD DID HE STILL NOT ASK LING OUT  
pani- yk like, nya?: THEYRE SO STUPID

im not doing the furry thing: I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE  
lan fan: IM GONNA TEXT LING

[private message between @lan fan @ling ]

lan fan: ling.

ling: LAN FAN THAT LOOKS SO OMINOUS 

lan fan: GOOD

ling: HMFDH??

lan fan: ASK EDWARD OUT ALREADY

ling: LAN FAN SHUT UP CHALLENGE

lan fan: JUST ASK HIM TO GO TO THE MOVIES WITH YOU HOW HARD CAN IT BE  
lan fan: [image] LOOK LOVE SIMON IS PLAYING FRIDAY NIGHT  
lan fan: ITS GAY SO GO

ling: I CANT

lan fan: r u kidding me  
lan fan: do u SERIOUSLY not see the way he looks at u  
lan fan: ur so dumb i might have a stroke and die

ling: OK SHUT UP ILL ASK HIM AFTER THIS CLASS

lan fan: :)!

[groupchat] NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED!  
   
world goth day: HELP  
world goth day: I HATE LING SM

winwy: WHY  
winwy: WHAT DID HE DO NOW

world goth day: HE  
world goth day: HE DOESNT BREAK HIS KITKAT HE JUST  
world goth day:

[unknown_image.png](https://78.media.tumblr.com/706fa5318c52c004ff48744bec16b3ec/tumblr_pdfcbc6MbE1vkoxzt_250.jpg)

winwy: LING DIE

im not doing the furry thing: IM KICKING YOU OUT LING

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: whats wrong with that

world goth day: AL NOT U TOO

dr. homosexual supremacy: SHUT THE UP UR FUCK

winwy: I HATE ALL OF YOU SO MUCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG AND ITS SHORT AGAIN IM!!!! big debression
> 
> pls gib me kudos n comments i am fuckinn.. . Gay
> 
> also idk where im going w this pls comment ideas i wanna add cool uncle greed 
> 
> thats it fma stands for fuck my ass goodbye!
> 
>  
> 
> greed fma


	3. monster energy n communion wafers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SCREEN NAMES  
> edward - world goth day  
> alphonse - furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18  
> winry - winwy  
> lan fan - im not doing the furry thing  
> paninya - pani- yk like, nya?  
> ling - dr. homosexual supremacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again; image links r clickable u wont regret it SO CLICK I TRY MY BEST ON THOSE THINGS FJFM

[private message between @lan fan and @alphonse ]

alphonse: lan fan?

lan fan: awphonse?

alphonse: AJDHSG  
alphonse: i think in gonna come out to everyone today??

lan fan: oh?? u sure ur ready?

alphonse: yes yes i think i am  
alphonse: i just gotta find the right moment

lan fan: itll be ok! just do what feels right

alphonse: akfjdj thank u sm lan baby nb me wouldve literally died if they didnt have u to talk to

lan fan: its ok!! were PEAK nb gay/nb lesbian solidarity 

alphonse: YES!!!

[groupchat] NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED!

world goth day: google how many weeks r left till our next break

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: summer break just ended like  
furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: 2 weeks ago

world goth day: AL  
world goth day: U R SUPPOSED TO SUPPORT ME  
world goth day: IN THESE HARD TIMES

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: perish  
furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18:  
[unknown_image.png](https://78.media.tumblr.com/ec2caa1bb935fd352cac7eb3b8365674/tumblr_pdmhfv1MuO1vkoxzt_1280.png)

world goth day: is that  
world goth day: mustang  
world goth day: ALPHONSE UR GROUNDED

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: YOURE NOT MY DAD?? 

world goth day: WELL IM STILL OLDER THAN U

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: WELL YOU TYPE LIKE A TODDLER 

pani- yk like, nya?: FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

winwy: PANINYA NO

im not doing the furry thing: PANINYA YES

winwy: LAN FAN NOT YOU TOO

im not doing the furry thing: :) 

winwy: I  
winwy: you know what nvm i love u both but you guys are chaotic BASTARDS

pani- yk like, nya?: :*  
pani- yk like, nya?: I LOVE YOU 

im not doing the furry thing: BIG HEART EMOJI

world goth day: CAN SOMEBODY PLS HELP ME GROUND MY BROTHER

winwy: ITS JUST A PICTURE OF MUSTANG WHATS SO BAD ABOUT THAT

world goth day: winry  
world goth day: did u ever consider that  
world goth day: i hate mustang

winwy: hfmfhd god youre so weird i might die

world goth day: THEN PERISH

winwy: GARGLE MY DICK AND BALLS U DUMB BOTTOM

world goth day: FUCKING. SHUT UR FUCK

im not doing the furry thing: EDWARD ILL END U

world goth day: I WASNT EVEN TALKING 2 U

im not doing the furry thing: YOU WERE TALKINGT TO MY GF SO SHUT UP

world goth day: HFMDJDH

dr. homosexual supremacy: its literally like  
dr. homosexual supremacy: 8 in the morning  
dr. homosexual supremacy: what r u guys doing being up this early

world goth day: ling  
world goth day: class starts in 30 minutes  
world goth day: yk. that class we share. art. first period.

dr. homosexual supremacy: HFMFHDH?? WHAT  
dr. homosexual supremacy: I THOUGHT FIRST PERIOD GOT CANCELLED WHAT IS THIS

world goth day: RIP IN PISS  
world goth day: JUST HURRY UP  
world goth day: ILL GET U A KITKAT IF U DONT EAT IT LIKE A HEATHEN AGAIN 

im not doing the furry thing: i already told him to put an alarm up but ling has dumb twink disorder so i guess he didnt

world goth day: HFMFHDH  
world goth day: SO THATS WHY HES ALWAYS LATE HUH OK  
world goth day: UNDERSTANDABLE HAVE A NICE DAY

dr. homosexual supremacy: excuse u i need my beauty sleep

world goth day: seems like u havent been getting enough of that lately

dr. homosexual supremacy: HELLO?? SAYS U

winwy: *national geographic dude voice* here u can see two dumb bottom ass boyfriends fighting in their natural habitat 

world goth day: I STG ILL END U

dr. homosexual supremacy: thats fake im a verse 

pani- yk like, nya?: i love how neither denied the boyfriend part lmfao

winwy: ALFKFJFJ

world goth day: SHUT THE HELL UP

dr. homosexual supremacy: OH MY GOD PANINYA I HATE U

[ private message between @winry and @edward ]

winry: i can sense u blushing from across the building 

edward: ALFKBN OH MY GOD SHOW ME SUPPORT

[group chat] NO STRAIGHTS ALLOWED!

im not doing the furry thing: ling shut up u cant even open a can of beans ur no verse

world goth day: HA FUCKING BOTTOM

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: ed you cant either so doesnt that make you a bottom too

pani- yk like, nya?: HFMFJDMFJD  
pani- yk like, nya?: DAMB ALPHONSE TAKES NO PRISONERS

world goth day: 

_world goth day left the chat._

winwy: AJDDKMF

_winwy added world goth day to the chat. Say hi!_

world goth day: AL I SWEAR ILL TAKE REVENGE FOR THIS  
world goth day: HOW DARE U UR MY BROTHER 

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: sibling actually  
furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: surprise! im nb!

world goth day: oh? thanks for telling me  
world goth day: thats rlly brave

winwy: im so proud of u!!! they/them??

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: they/them!!!

pani- yk like, nya?: alphonse? an nb icon i love them!

im not doing the furry thing: good job al! i told u itd be fine

winwy: you knew?

im not doing the furry thing: yea they messaged me like a year back when they just found out

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: omg that was so embarrassing PLS

im not doing the furry thing: no it wasnt omg shut up!

dr. homosexual supremacy: LAN FAN I CAN HEAR U GIGGLING  
dr. homosexual supremacy: thanks for telling us tho al!!

furry rights! - A. Elric 2k18: see!!! it WAS embarrassing 

im not doing the furry thing: NO LING SHUT IT I WASNT GIGGLING

im not doing the furry thing: i was just surprised in a nice way ig

im not doing the furry thing: bc i kinda thought u all only hung out with me bc of ling at first its dumb i know

winwy: omg no lan fan!!! i literally had the biggest gay crush on u the first time i met u

world goth day: nah if anything we’d rather hang out w u than ling

dr. homosexual supremacy: EXCUSE ME??? 

world goth day: IM JOKING PLS I LIKE U BOTH

dr. homosexual supremacy: OH THANK GOD  
dr. homosexual supremacy: smh edward u cant do that my gay heart cant handle this dr. homosexual supremacy: wait did i dr. homosexual supremacy: OMG THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO TO LAN FAN _dr. homosexual supremacy left the chat._ world goth day: AKDHSG??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i honestly dont like how this turned out im sorry if its too ooc lol 
> 
> im also sorry for the inconsistent update schedule?? 
> 
> thx for the kudos n comments! i appreciate them greatly!
> 
> i hope i can add greed in ch 4 or 5 hfmdj
> 
> also!! special so to all of u who have been commenting since the beginning this chapter is dedicated to u all!
> 
> ok thats it hmgjd?? 
> 
> x zach

**Author's Note:**

> im SORRY this is rlly short but im tired and gay so 
> 
> PLS LEAVE KUDOS ND COMMENTS! ILU
> 
> also im sorry i had to link the furry edward to a tumblr post idk how to add pictures in here rip


End file.
